Conversation between Bedbug Rat and Mosquito

At 2:30 am, in a room in ABH, a lonesome medical student dozes off at his reading table, unaware of his three visitors: the Rattus rattus, Culicidae Anopheles, and Cimex lectularius. The timid Cimex is very annoyed at the sight of the other two; after all, they hadn't crawled from their natural habitat—the bed—to the table for a quick meal. The mosquito looks down on his adversaries and his meal. He is unbothered; everyone knows aerial superiority is key to winning every battle. Rattus isn't too worried. He is the largest one here. He has nothing to fear.

The three exchange looks and understand that they must meet and compromise before taking action. They wouldn't want to lose their meal or, worse, their life, as so many others before them had.

"I should attack him first," Cimex says, "my bite is surgical and barely felt."

"Shut up, bug. Before you get to the man, I would have died of old age," says Rattus.

"Indeed," agreed Culicidae. "I should go first. I am the quickest and don't eat much, unlike you, bug."

"I really don't care what you bugs eat, as long as I go first and get those crumbs near his hand," Rattus says.

The visitors have reached an impasse. They know that they will never reach an agreement. So, without a word, they all take off towards the human.

Culicidae gets to him first and takes a big suck of blood.

SLAP!

The man's hand performs that ancient ritual of one hand clapping on the mosquito.

The Cimex sees the blood dripping from the man's hand and prepares to run. Rattus is quicker, already taken off in a zigzag of random directions to prevent the man from finding his home. He doesn't get far though; in his haste, he gets trapped in the sticky floor he worked so hard to avoid. Rattus knows his end is inevitable and screams futilely.

The man looks at the rat and says, "Got one." The corner of his eye catches a black spot on his white notebook. He moves his fingers towards it.

The Cimex can feel the angry man's hand reaching for him. He runs as quickly as he can, but he is too slow. The man's fingers pinch him, and he feels his body's integrity falling apart. He does the most noble thing a bug can do before death: he releases the special chemicals that warn his comrades of the threat.

The man smells the bedbug and knows what it is. "How did I get bed bugs?" He complains. Man has won the battle today.

In the darkest corners of the room, the Cimex clan and Culicidae clan meet for an alliance against the man.

In the hole behind the man's wardrobe, one Rattus cries over the news of his dead father, and his uncle swears revenge in mock. He finally has a reason to attack the man's cupboard where all the good stuff is kept. He can see a bright future for himself.

The student continues reading about Zoonotic diseases.

Olajide Olamide