A Letter From The Desk Of The President Of The Introverts Quorum(IQ)

There are many so-called secret organizations. They are not secret; dig deep enough, and you will find them. However, the association whose secret is about to be exposed is truly a secret. I cannot, for various reasons, disclose how I obtained this letter, but I assure you it is real. The contents of what you are about to read are terrifying. I may not be able to publish again after this, for they have found my hiding spot and are closing in on me, but I feel the world should know what is about to happen. The world should prepare. Read this at your own discretion—they are everywhere. They will come for you once you see this letter.

From the Desk of the President:

My comrades, I write to you because I cannot see you; scopophobia still affects me. Rest assured, this will not hinder my duties. I am here to address a grave threat to our association. We have been infiltrated by impostors. What is particularly annoying is that these impostors dare to identify as one of us. They genuinely believe they are one of us. The gall of these people! If I could handle confrontation, I would fight them to the death.

Regardless, I have identified them and will now expose them. They are the normies and the extroverts. These species of humans claim to be us on social media and in real life. Every true introvert knows that we do not need to expose ourselves to be... In fact, we do not expose ourselves at all, regardless of need.

I believe it is high time we began a crusade against the pseudos and quasis among us. Introverts are not doormats for the sake of gaining popularity. It may be time to remind the world of our existence—that we are the roots of the more inimical half of the current compendium of mental issues. Perhaps the TV series; ‘You’, did not drive the message deep enough for all humans to appreciate.

Just a few days ago, someone approached me, tried to stare me in the eye, and asked to be friends. How dare they? I felt so insulted. Did my perpetual sulk and floor-fixed gaze not tell this... this... human all they needed to know? I am not complete enough to engage you in a conversation. Leave!

Granted, I am an old fossil that refuses to change from the old ways, but I still maintain the standard for what introversion should be. You all might have evolved to wear cool shirts and jeans, wooing girls with your computer "rizz." I blame Musk and Zuckerberg for this. They were once bright upstarts with the right idea—make money and suppress the normies and extroverts—but then they were converted. I mean, who the hell holds public talks all over the world? Who do they think they are, Steve Jobs? At least we still have Bill with us.

The point is, we might have evolved, but we are still introverts, and we will not let them take that away from us now that being introverted is cool. You are either born as one of us, or you are not one of us at all. Our revenge will be discussed in greater detail at the next meeting. A new encrypted site and laptop will be sent to your local heads. They will inform you of the next steps, in Morse code, of course.

This is for your eyes only. Remember, this paper will burn once you reach the last sentence. May your silence be unblemished.

Yours confidentially,

Thought you got me, didn’t you? No I will not reveal my name.

A truly terrifying letter, who knew introverts spoke so much.