Born Into Temperaments

Every day, we get to choose our friends, people whose values align with ours. However, we didn’t get to choose our parents; we were born into their temperaments, personalities, and quirks. We had to grow under their influence, whether it felt like bliss or a whirlwind. 

Here is a light-hearted look at the four major temperaments through the lens of parenting: 

THE SANGUINE

Sanguine parents are every child's dream—vivacious, pleasure-seeking and ever-optimistic. They'll do anything to make their kids happy. There's never a dull moment. Imagine waking up to your dad spilling gist about Burna boy dragging Obi Cubana on X, just pure vibes. 
But here's the downside: overly sanguine parents may neglect discipline. They are too busy chasing fun or living in the moment. Structure, boundaries, and consequences? Rarely part of the plan. 

THE CHOLERIC

"My child must become a doctor— even though I never became one." Classic choleric parent energy. 

These parents are determined, driven, and directive. They will tell you what to do and how to do it. If they're wealthy, they know what's best. If they're working class, they are the overzealous parents who want you to finish secondary school before 16 and become a doctor by 21. 

Now, imagine this type of parent is paired with a sanguine child who wants to be a pianist. "A pianist? In this T-pain economy?" They don't take kindly to dreams that challenge their expectations. 

But if the child's temperament matches theirs— goal-oriented, disciplined, and ambitious—then they'll do everything to make sure the child succeeds.

THE MELANCHOLIC 

Thoughtful and detail-oriented, melancholic parents are deep feelers. They wear their emotions like a badge. Their child's sadness may trigger their own, and just like that the home becomes a gloom-fest. Aura for aura. 

They'll help you get through a breakup and offer genuine empathy. But once the tears are dried, they expect progress. Heal, but don't go back to previous mistakes.  

THE PHLEGMATIC

Often seen as the ideal parents, phlegmatics are calm, tolerant, and easygoing. Don't want a dad arguing at every PTA meeting over school fees? 
These are your people.

They're big on peace and strive to avoid confrontations. They're not bothered by societal pressure. They encourage openness and honesty with their children. But on the flip side? They're not always great decision-makers. Their speech can be hesitant, and their opinions suggestive. 

Most parents are a mix of temperaments,  but there is usually a dominant one. The more we understand their wiring, the more we understand the home we grew in and even ourselves. 

Amole Mustapha